In the End
by SpoonyLupin
Summary: Remus reflects back on some of the last and most important moments of his life - the ones that taught him what being a good husband and father truly was.


_Author's note: I've taken some liberties with canon at some points, but they're smaller details that I felt needed to be expanded upon._

**In the End**

_Harry was right and you know it._

Remus took a deep breath, trying to stop the tremors of anger that continued to flow through his body. He wasn't even entirely sure how he managed to Apparate in one piece, because Harry's words were overwhelming his mind, making it hard to think about anything else, let alone his destination.

Leaning heavily against a tree in the Tonks's yard, Remus looked up at the house, at the lights shining in the windows. He thought he could see Dora's silhouette in bright golden light, pacing in her room and stopping repeatedly in front of the window. She was probably watching for him, waiting for him to return.

Remus's right hand found the trunk of the tree, fingering the rough bark as he stared up at Dora. He was probably imagining it, but it almost looked like she'd placed her hands on her stomach and was glancing down at it, her lips moving softly.

He brought his left hand up until the light from the window caught the wedding band on his finger. It occurred to Remus that as certain as he was that this had all been a bad idea, he'd still gone through with it and he couldn't just pretend it hadn't happened…as much as he wanted to.

_Harry was right._

Trying to force his mind into silence, Remus stepped away from the tree. Clenching his hands into tight fists, he headed for the house, determined to show himself (and Harry) that he wasn't a coward.

* * *

As soon as he pushed open the door to Dora's room, he felt her arms engulf him as she buried her nose in the front of his cloak. He put an arm around her, almost as a reflex rather than feeling.

"It's late," she said, pulling away a bit and looking up at him. "I was getting worried."

"I went for a walk," Remus whispered, letting go of her and reaching for the clasp on his traveling cloak.

Tonks closed the bedroom door before turning back to Remus. "Did you see Harry?"

"I saw him," Remus sighed, pulling his cloak off and placing it on the chair in the corner. He stared down at it, at the worn material, not feeling ready to meet her eyes. "I can't say it went well."

A frown pulled at Dora's features as she crossed her arms over her chest. "What happened?"

"A lot of things," Remus replied truthfully, looking up from his cloak. He paused, taking a moment to glance around the room before taking a seat on the bed. "Dumbledore did leave him with a mission, and Ron and Hermione are going with him. He confirmed that much, although what it's about, he couldn't say. I, however, won't be going with them."

"He said no?"

"Among other things," Remus said, glancing down at his hands clasped tightly in his lap. "I told them…that you're expecting, and Harry made it clear that he thinks my place is here…with you…and the baby."

Dora's hands hovered momentarily over her stomach. "There's a war going on!" she exclaimed. "Sacrifices have to be made…Harry of all people should understand that."

"He didn't see it that way." Remus paused, turning to glance out the window that he had been watching Tonks through not long ago. "He saw it like…He made it seem like I was abandoning you…on purpose," he said quickly, before he lost his nerve.

"Remus…first of all, I can't believe Harry would say that to you. Like I said, there's a war going on. You were doing what you felt needed to be done. I know you'd much rather be here with me."

"Dora," Remus said, sounding pained. He finally looked up at her, his face set. "I wanted to go."

"Obviously," Dora said, trying to sound light-hearted, but a note of uncertainty broke into her voice. "You never would have brought it up otherwise."

"You don't understand," Remus disagreed. "I said I _wanted_ to go – not because I felt like I _needed_ to, but because I _wanted_ to." He stopped, glancing across the room at his traveling cloak still strewn across the chair. "And Harry saw right through that."

"You're right," Dora said, her voice finally giving way to the confusion she felt, "I don't understand."

Remus began to rub at his forehead with one hand like he was getting a headache. "I told you," he said, without looking up at her. "All of my reservations about marrying you in the first place are still there. They haven't gone away…"

"So that's what it is," Dora cut him off. "You regret marrying me. You wish none of this had ever happened."

Remus's eyes slid shut and his teeth clenched. "It wasn't so bad when it was just us," he said miserably, "but now there's an innocent child who's going to have to deal with all of this as well."

"Well," Dora said tersely, "perhaps you should have thought about that before you climbed into bed with me."

A burst of color rose up in Remus's cheeks. "I know," he bit out shakily, "I know I should have…"

"Remus," Dora said coldly, her arms wrapping protectively around her stomach, "you know, regretting marrying me is one thing, but regretting our _child_ is entirely another."

"I don't…" Remus sighed, shaking his head and running a hand through his hair. "This isn't coming out right."

"Explain it to me then!" Dora's dark eyes flashed in anger and her previously bubblegum pink hair turned a shade darker.

"It isn't like that," Remus whispered, unable to meet her eyes again. He focused on the texture of the tan carpet underneath his feet, at the way the fabric looped and wove together. He waited for quite a while, hoping that Dora would calm down a bit. Finally, he said, "I don't regret it in that way. I never would have married you or made a baby with you unless I loved you, so no, those things weren't mistakes. What I regret is that I've made you and this baby outcasts!"

Dora's face softened. "You think I hadn't thought about those things before I married you? I'm not blind to the ways of the world, you know. I know exactly what most people think of you, and what they think of me now, and this baby, but…let them. I didn't marry you for the rest of the world; I married you for _you_…for _me_…for _us_."

"To make us all outcasts."

"I thought we sorted this all out before we got married."

"I know we talked about it," Remus sighed, shaking his head, "but…"

"You've decided to just disregard everything I told you then?"

"No!" Remus said, his own frustration at not being able to put his feelings into words peeking through his generally calm demeanor.

"Remus, listen to me," Dora said, stepping forward and taking a seat next to Remus on the bed. She wrapped her arms around his waist and rested her chin on his shoulder. "I don't _care_ what anyone else thinks, all right?"

"You should."

Pulling away, Dora stared at him with narrowed eyes. "No, I shouldn't…and you shouldn't either." She stopped for a moment, throwing her mind about for a suitable argument. "For the love of Merlin, are any marriages perfect?" she asked exasperatedly. "Look at my mum and dad! Look at the way her family treated her just because my dad was Muggle-born. Does that mean she shouldn't have married him?"

"Don't compare the two. They're…"

"Completely different, right?" Dora interrupted. "How'd I know you'd say that?"

Remus was forced into silence, realizing his argument was falling apart at the seams. "You know, considering what your parents went through, you'd think they'd be a little more sympathetic to us, but…even they don't want us together."

Dora looked utterly confused now. "_What_?"

"Come on, Dora," Remus said snidely. "What parents honestly want their only daughter to marry and reproduce with a _werewolf_?"

"Remus," Dora began, but she stopped, feeling at a loss for words. "Have they said anything to you?"

"No, but it's obvious how they feel," Remus said, completely focusing all of his attention on his hands once again. "They haven't been happy about this from the beginning. I can see it every time they look at me…every time they speak to me."

"Remus," Dora repeated, but this time, she sounded almost amused. "Now _you're_ the one who doesn't understand. That's not…it's not because you're a werewolf."

"No?" Remus asked in a tone that signified his disbelief. "Then why?"

Dora scooted away from him on the bed so that she could see his face better. She turned sideways, pulling one knee up onto the bed. "My mother suspected you might feel this way…" She trailed off, turning her own attention to a loose thread on her Muggle jeans. "She's just afraid that you aren't entirely committed to me and might change your mind, and she's shared those fears with my dad. They don't want me to be hurt, Remus, that's all. It has absolutely nothing to do with you being a werewolf. They'd react the same way even if you weren't."

That possibly made Remus feel even worse. Had he been acting that obviously? Were his feelings that transparent? That Dora's parents really believed he would leave her? Especially now, when there was a baby on the way…

"I suppose they were right," Remus said, his voice cracking.

"You were going to help Harry in the effort of putting this war to an end," Dora disagreed.

Remus shook his head. "That's what I told you…and that's what I told myself." He made a face. "Perhaps Harry knows me better than I know myself."

"Despite your reasons," Dora said, snaking her hand across the bed and finding Remus's, "I still think it was a noble decision to try and help Harry. Whatever his mission may be, I have no doubt that it'll dangerous, and that's not something you take lightly, no matter what you were trying to get away from."

Remus felt his cheeks growing red again as he squeezed her hand. "Merlin, I'm sorry." He caught her eyes, apologetic blue meeting her deep brown ones. "None of that gave me the right to marry you, get you pregnant, and then run off…"

Dora silenced him with a finger to his lips. "As long as you realize that now, right?"

He returned the smile that had formed on her lips and then pushed himself closer to her. Remus leaned in, very softly pressing his lips against hers in a sign of apology. When he pulled away, Dora's hair had gone from dark pink to an even brighter shade of bubblegum, making it almost painful to look at.

"Just so you know," she said firmly, "this baby is going to be proud of you the same way I am. We're going to teach him to judge people based on _who_ they are, not _what_ they are."

Remus raised an eyebrow, looking sideways at her. "_Him_?"

"Oh!" Dora said in surprise, like she hadn't even registered what she'd said. "I don't know," she whispered, glancing down at her stomach. "I _think_ it's a boy. I keep doing that – referring to it as a him without even realizing it. Mum said the same thing happened to her when she was pregnant with me – she knew I was going to be a girl…something about a mother's instinct."

Part of Remus wondered what it said about his father's instinct if he had been so keen on leaving his child to begin with. But something made sense to him then, something he hadn't realized before, something that Harry had been trying to tell him – his child deserved more than a nonexistent father and Dora more than a nonexistent husband.

Maybe a werewolf wasn't the ideal husband or father, but Remus had made the decisions to put himself into this position, and now he had a duty to take care of them. But even more than that, his family was gift, something he never thought he'd have, and Remus now intended to enjoy it for as long as he was able.

* * *

Early one evening in April, wind and rain assaulted the Tonks's house while Remus paced the upstairs hallway. He stopped momentarily to go to Dora's bedroom door, listening for any clues as to what was happening, before he resumed his pacing. Occasionally, he'd go to the window as well, trying to distract himself with the raging storm, all the while wringing his hands raw.

After what seemed like a million lightning flashes and thunderclaps later, the door to Dora's bedroom cracked open, soft cries punctuating the night. Remus's heart seemed to jump and squirm in his chest at the sound.

"It's a boy!" Andromeda said, smiling as she poked her head out of Dora's room.

Remus let out a soft breath of nervous laughter, trying to calm his own nerves which were causing him to shake slightly now. "Dora was right."

One of Andromeda's eyebrows went up. "About what?"

"Her instincts…she said she thought it was a boy."

"A mother's instincts are hardly ever wrong, Remus," Andromeda said knowledgeably, her smile growing. She stepped out into the hallway, gesturing back into Dora's room. "I think your son's waiting to meet you."

Swallowing hard, Remus slowly crossed the hall, his stomach suddenly feeling like it had risen into his throat. When he got to the threshold of Dora's room, he paused, trying to calm himself again, when he felt Andromeda's hand on his shoulder, giving it a soft squeeze.

Once Remus had made it clear that he intended to stick with Dora through everything, he realized that Dora had been right; Ted and Andromeda had only been concerned about Dora's best interests. When they realized that Remus wasn't looking for a way out again, they even seemed to accept Remus as their own son, and he couldn't be more grateful to them.

Especially after Ted had been killed, Andromeda went out of her way to make Remus feel like a part of their family. Remus assumed it was all in an effort to try and distract herself from the pain she was feeling, but he didn't mind; they seemed to need him as much then as he realized he needed them now.

Remus finally stepped into Dora's room, letting the door click shut behind him. At the sound, Dora looked up from her place in the middle of the bed, a small bundle of blue blankets cradled in her arms. Dora's signature pink hair had faded into a softer shade, matching the tired look on her face, but she was grinning.

"Told you it would be a boy," she giggled proudly, looking down at the twitching blankets.

Remus's legs were shaking as he stepped across the room, his heart speeding up as he drew closer. He dropped down onto the edge of her bed, before leaning over to peer at the tiny gurgling bundle in Dora's arms.

Wide striking blue eyes looked up at Remus, matching the shade of blankets the baby was tucked into, and a light dusting of black hair splashed across is forehead. Tiny fingers slowly crept around one corner of the blanket, the digits stretching out towards Remus.

Remus's heart pounded so hard he thought he would pass out, but he ignored it, reaching out one shaking hand to let the baby's fingers close around his.

"This is your daddy," Dora whispered, pressing a kiss to the baby's forehead.

"Merlin," Remus whispered, feeling like he should say something, but unable to form any other words at the moment.

"I know," Dora echoed, as if she completely understood. "He's perfect, isn't he?"

Remus hummed in response, not able to take his eyes from the bright blue ones that mirrored his own.

"Remus?" Dora asked cautiously. "How would you feel about naming him after my father?"

"Ted," Remus said softly, at which the baby let out another series of gurgles. "Teddy," Remus corrected. "Much more suited to such a cute baby."

Dora giggled. "And Remus for his middle name? To remind him to always be proud of who his father is, despite what the rest of the world thinks."

"Dora…" Remus tried, but words were escaping him again. He just nodded, every single emotion he thought possible coursing through his body in that moment.

After a moment of silence, during which Remus gathered his thoughts, he hesitantly said, "I've been thinking…that Harry should be godfather." He rushed on, trying to justify his reasons as if Dora might argue with him. "After all, if not for him, I wouldn't even be…"

"I think Harry would be the perfect godfather," she cut him off quietly, a small smile curving over her lips.

Remus felt himself grinning until Dora unexpectedly leaned forward, placing the almost sleeping Teddy into Remus's arms. Before he had time to be nervous again, however, Remus looked closer at Teddy, tilting his head curiously. "Is it just me, or does his hair look lighter to you?"

"Could be," Dora said, getting more comfortable now that she had her arms free. "Mum said my hair started changing colors almost as soon as I was born. If he's anything like me…"

"He's going to be a handful!" Remus teased.

The next hour passed in a blur of cries and gurgles from Teddy, while Remus and Dora talked quietly, discussing who they thought the baby looked like.

"I think I'm going to stop by Shell Cottage," Remus finally said, passing Teddy back to Dora. "Let them know about the good news."

"Aw, hurry back," Dora said, rocking Teddy gently when he didn't appear to be happy about his father leaving.

"I will." Remus leaned forward, capturing Dora's lips in a kiss. When he pulled away, he rested his forehead against hers, grinning. "I love you," he said, and then glanced down at Teddy, "and you."

"We love you, too," Dora said, smiling as she watched Remus leave the room. For a moment, Remus believed that he had never seen her quite so happy.

* * *

Remus found it increasingly difficult to pull himself away from the congratulations and well-wishers that surrounded him at Shell Cottage, but after two goblets of wine, he decided that he'd better get back before the new mother went out of her mind with worry.

He pulled his cloak on and fastened it, saying quick goodbyes to everyone, but just as he got to the foyer, he heard his name called again.

"Remus, wait!" Harry said. He glanced around at the room full of people before hurrying forward and joining Remus in the small entryway. The wind outside thundered against the door, making it rattle on its hinges and pushing little gusts of air through the gaps above and below the door itself.

"Look," Harry said firmly but quietly, not wanting anyone else to hear. "I just wanted you to know that all those things I said back at Grimmauld Place…I never…"

"I know, Harry," Remus interrupted him, speaking just as quietly. "Dora and I never would have made you godfather otherwise." A small smile flitted about his lips.

Harry huffed, feigning annoyance. "Would you just let me apologize?"

"There's no need…"

"There is," Harry disagreed. "I…I heard the last broadcast of _Potterwatch_, and well…you made me feel like a right git, okay?"

"You heard that?"

"Yeah."

"Well, then, you should know that I've already forgiven you."

"You're not making this any easier," Harry said, sighing heavily.

Remus gave an apologetic smile, shrugging slightly. He was quiet then, and Harry took advantage of the opportunity.

"I'd never be ashamed of you, Remus," Harry whispered, feeling the eyes of everyone in the room on his back. He tried to push that thought from his mind and focused solely on the man in front of him. "You might not see it, but…Teddy's very lucky to have you as a father."

Remus's eyes flickered with emotion and his hand found Harry's shoulder, gripping it tightly. "It's all right, Harry. Really. I know what you were trying to do. I absolutely meant what I said on _Potterwatch_ – your instincts _are_ nearly always right and they were in this case, because I've since realized that my place _is_ with Tonks and the baby. These last few months…we're happy, Harry, and I wouldn't even be there if not for you. So thank you for telling me what I needed to hear."

Harry snorted. "Maybe I could have come up with a more tactful way of putting it…"

"Nah," Remus disagreed. "I probably wouldn't have listened otherwise. It takes harsh words to get through to me sometimes."

Harry smiled, grateful that Remus was so forgiving. Unable to find any more words to convey his feelings, Harry just said, "Take care of Teddy."

"I will," Remus reassured him. "Thanks to you."

* * *

Remus ducked a curse, aiming his own wand and muttering a curse without really paying attention to where it was going. Another curse flashed from his right, and he ducked again, making his way into an alcove formed by the castle's outer wall. He closed his eyes, leaned his head back against wall, and gasped for breath; he'd been in the middle of a heated battle for the better part of an hour.

Just then, Remus's eyes flew open when he heard someone calling his name across the grounds, a voice that he immediately recognized, one that lived in his very soul. _Merlin, no_.

"_Remus_!" Dora cried again, her voice coming closer, but Remus could tell from the franticness in her voice that she couldn't see him in his hiding place.

He slowly peeked out from behind the alcove, waiting for Dora to appear around the corner of the castle. The entire grounds were in chaos, but running about and shouting his name wasn't exactly the most brilliant idea.

As soon as she drew close enough, he reached out, grabbed the front of her robes and forced her back into the alcove with him. She screamed momentarily and began to aim her wand before she realized who was before her.

"Remus!" she cried, wrapping her arms around his neck tightly. "I was so worried…"

"_Dora_," Remus gasped, pulling away from her and placing his hands on her cheeks. "What on earth are you doing here?!"

"I…" Her voice broke as tears welled up in her eyes. "I had to come," she said, much more calmly this time. "I couldn't just…wait, not knowing what was happening to you." She placed her hands over his, pressing them tightly against her face.

"You…you shouldn't be here," Remus whispered, trying to keep his voice steady. "You should be with Teddy!"

"He's okay, my mother's with him," Dora replied, even though they both knew that that wasn't what Remus had meant. The truth – that neither one of them might come back now – hung over their heads like a dead weight.

Remus realized, though, that he wouldn't be able to convince Dora otherwise, and that sending her back through the castle would be just as dangerous as staying with him anyway. At least this way, he could keep an eye on her.

"Please be careful," Remus said, pressing a harsh kiss to her lips before stepping out into the heat of battle once more.

Dolohov, who he had been dueling with previously, seemed to have been waiting for Remus to make his presence known again; almost immediately, he cast a spell at Remus's head, which the werewolf just managed to duck. Out of the corner of his eye, Remus saw Dora firing spells at another Death Eater a distance away, while Remus focused on getting off as many spells at Dolohov as possible.

Just as Dolohov seemed to be getting tired, and Remus thought he was getting the upper hand, he heard something that chilled him to the core. Dora's pained scream echoed over the grounds, freezing Remus to his spot.

Remus fired one last spell at Dolohov, hoping it hit its target, before he took off for the back of the castle. "DORA!" he roared, realizing that he was now the one running about the grounds and shouting for his wife. The irony wasn't lost in the sickening sense of dread he felt.

As soon as he rounded the back corner of the castle, Remus realized that he heard Bellatrix's taunting voice floating towards him on the late spring breeze. His stomach curled into a knot as he saw Dora contorted into an awful position on the ground, her hands clawing at the grass in desperation.

His hand shaking, Remus aimed a stunning spell at Bellatrix which she easily stepped away from.

"Your wolf is here," Bellatrix snarled down at Dora. "You know, the one that you absolutely _diseased_ the family with by marrying."

"_Go to hell_," Dora managed to spit out in between loud gasps for air.

"_Impedimenta_," Remus incanted from in between clenched teeth and this time, it didn't miss its target. Bellatrix lost her footing, stumbling to the grass as if she'd had one too many firewhiskies.

"Can't take my eyes off you for a minute, can I?" Remus asked Dora, offering his hand to her.

"Apparently not," she giggled, as if she hadn't just been under the Cruciatus Curse seconds before. As she slowly got to her feet, she turned and looked down at Bellatrix. "It's you who's diseased our family, just so you know."

Bellatrix snarled, trying desperately to get her feet under again, but still feeling the effects of the curse. "Kill her!" she suddenly shouted, pointing up at Dora.

Just then, from behind Remus and Tonks, came a snarled, "_Avada Kedavra_!"

Remus turned on his heel, seeing the bright green flash flying across the grounds towards them. It was headed straight for Dora and before he even had time to think, he thrust himself into her, knocking her off balance.

As he fell with her, Remus felt the curse hit in his shoulder, a slow and creeping pain spreading through his upper body. He tried to gasp for air, but it felt as someone had tied mounds of ropes tightly around his ribs. He continued to fall and when his shoulder connected with the ground, he rolled over onto his back, temporarily watching the black sky. All around him, everything seemed in slow motion and muffled – as if he was listening from underwater.

Out of the corner of his right eye, Remus could see Dolohov looking triumphant. He hadn't quite hit his target as he'd intended, but no doubt one fewer Order member was an accomplishment either way.

Then, from his other side, Remus could hear his name being repeated over and over again, steadily growing louder. "_Remus_," Dora said, dropping down next to him, her voice cracking and pleading. Her hands fisted tightly in the front of his robes as tears streamed down her cheeks. "_Remus_."

"Dora," Remus said, his voice sounding harsh and unused to his own ears. He shut his eyes, every breath getting harder and harder to draw.

"Don't leave me," Dora pleaded. "Please!"

"N–never. I…love you. T–tell…Teddy. More than a–anything."

"We love you, too," Dora sobbed, her tears dripping down onto the front of his robes now. She reached out a shaking hand, caressing his cheek with her thumb.

"Tell…Harry…t–to watch…Teddy…your mum."

Dora had no idea what Remus was trying to say, but she nodded, not wanting to interrupt him.

"Love…y–you," Remus repeated. "D–don't forg–get. Al–always."

Remus drew one last breath, his eyes locked on Dora's, trying to remember the last time he'd looked into them in happiness. Although the moment was escaping him, it hadn't been that long ago, he knew; with Dora, he'd always been happy.

That was Remus's last thought as his world went back for the last time.

* * *

_It's true what they say. Your entire life does flash before your eyes when you die. Not necessarily the bad moments, but the good ones…the ones that deserve remembering._

_I always thought Dora had a lot to learn…I remember thinking how naïve she was insisting that she wanted me despite everything. She, however, taught me more than I ever could have imagined. She taught me what it was like to love and to be loved in return; she taught me that the opinions of those who loved me were the only ones worth believing; and most importantly, she gave me the most fulfilling and precious role in the world – that of a father (although Dora might argue that being a mother tops even that)._

_Perhaps my biggest regret is that I'll never be able to tell Teddy how much I love him, but he knows nonetheless. A parent can't feel for their child the way I do without them knowing – even in death. And I know he loves me in return and that he's proud of me – proud of who I was and of everything I stood up for – and a parent can't ask for much more than that._

_The end_


End file.
